Confessions of a Daneeeboy

This is horribly stolen from just about everyone else, but... what an amazing idea, making you define yourself in images. I was amazingly shhocked at how accurate the final profile overview text was. Read it and lemme know how much, ME, you think it is...

Ok, so I never ever update this baby its true. But, I had to post somewhere cause am just so excited. I really should start keeping track of my exciting days.

Anyway, last night went to the AOL invite only event in Kentish Town. Was rather amazing. Who happened to be there? Peaches Geldof (stunning! if not a bit dim), MIKA (Most amazing new artist ever), THE WINEHOUSE!, McFly and The Sugababes. Was such a good night. Got slghtly bladdered on cider, Heidi from the Sugababes laughed at me - not sure if she remembers past encounters, lol. Sugababes v3 are the est yet. - The Winehouse was AMAAAAAZING if not slightly sober for my liking. But I think she appreciated my intoxication because she kept smiling - and saw a guy I kind of went out with once at SEEC. VERY RANDOM. All in all, I was very happy, apart from some bitch who started on me, but I don't take shit from no one. Then my sister got annoyed cause I kept picking fights on the way home, lol. Some random middle aged man had a go at me for holding up the ticket gates, well eeeeexcuse you mrs. I called him grandad and told him to wank off. Haha.

In oher news from this crazy week. I got an amazing new job, start weds, am v. excited for that - start on Weds! ARGH! Mattie called me yest out of the blue - hmmmmm. We were meant to meet p last night and go to trash palace but my phone died - whoops. I will have to call him when I'm near a charger. My phone is on the blink but it is a-ok, because I am getting a new phone and contract which will have MSN on it - I'll be available 24/7, even in lectures, haha. Shocking news about some people near and dear, but can't go into that. Ummm, think thats about it really.

Don't forget, I don't love this thing, and to check out my Myspace at www.myspace.com/daneeeboy. Anyone who is not yet on MySpace *cough*liz*cough* sucks.

I just thought I'd post, since for the first time ever I have been out to celebrate a divorce!

Piss off KFag, the gays are gonna shit in your coffee.

For all DICKHEADS who want to date our Dan:

Dont tell me not to live,
Just sit and putter,
Lifes candy and the suns
A ball of butter.
Dont bring around a cloud
To rain on my parade.
Dont tell me not to fly--
Ive simply got to.
If someone takes a spill,
Its me and not you.
Who told you youre allowed
To rain on my parade!

Got that? No one pisses on my fire, bitch.

I post the following for anyone who feels a bit down, stressed, annoyed, angry, worried or disenchanted by life...

I know I never update this thing. I find it really hard to write about my life. With all that's gone on I find it hard to keep up the good humour for useless posts, I find writing about my day to day life boring, and I loathe people who use their livejournal to feign emotion - If you're depressed see a psychhologist, don't talk about how shit things are in some blog.

And because things for me haven't been so great of late, I've had no compulsion to talk about things on here. Beecause of certain events, I am suffering from a bad bout of insomnia at the moment. But this morning we don't mind, and I've had a little epiphany moment, which, without everything that has happened recently I would never have come to. So give me a moment to explain...

As a result of being awake at 4am this morning, I got to see the sunrise. And it was very nice today! And since I love this time of day, and I have a brand new video ipod I've been dying to actually use, I decided to go for a stroll and listen to some tunes. I've just got "Liza with a Z" - one of the best albums in the world (ask your nearest gay man for cultural significance), so I could strut around to "Ring Them Bells".

So basically I set out into the dawn, and had a look around. I walked across the estate and thought how nice it all looked, and then over to Spencers Park, and I thought how lucky we 50, or so, families who live on my estate, are to have our very own park. I remember when Spencers Park was nothing but a big field in which the waste from building Spencers (and demolishing the garden centres where my house is), had been dumped. I remember when Spencers Park opened and it was just like a big field with a few shrubs. I suddenly realised today how those shrubs are now turning into well established wooded areas. The whole place suddenly developed without me even realising.

And it was then that everything that has been bogging me down recently left me. I guess I learned to appreciate what my life really is, rather than what I perceive it to be. I realised that even though I have been away, my life is, and really always will be rooted in the half a mile that is Spencers and Clements Hall. This is where my family is, where my oldest and dearest friends are, and where I became who I am.

And I appreciated what I have and I what I have had. I think we all spend too much time aspiring to something, or running away from something, or trying to fit with something. I remembered being at school and being told I lived in a desirable area. I remember putting one particuarly pretentious school mum's nose out of joint when she was talking about the size of her house when I 'mentioned' I lived on Spencers. It's not perfect, but from my bedroom window I can see a huge park, and on the other side of that a massive stretch of football, rugby and cricket pitches. I realised that in Coventry, you'd never find so much greenery, here, I've always had it all outside my door.

So as the sun came up over Spencers Park, "Liza with a Z" ended, and my ipod moved on from a young and perky Liza Minnelli to a Liza who has two fake hips, a semi-real knee, arthritus, was paralyzed and has been through several high profile drink and drug problems, singing "The World Goes Round". And in the first lines of the song "sometimes you're happy, and sometimes you're sad, but the world goes round" summed up the place I moved to emotionally. I realised that really, no matter what happens, life goes on, and I will always have all that I have had up to now. I have a pretty good life, I have good friends and family, and people, jobs, dreams and hopes will come and go but things will always work out ok.

And, the final Liza song of the day - as all gay men should remember - even if things go REALLY tits up, 'Life Is A Cabaret' old chum!

EDIT: Because no Liza post is complete without THE MOST AMAZING SCENE IN A FILM EVER, and because it reminds me of germany...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0j443725cU

Life has been a bit stressful of late - so much going on! But, wahey, I'm back. Can start updating this again, hehe.

A few years ago, the publishing industry lost a very influencial magazine. During the 80's, the Face changed the world of publishing forever in it's use of typography, colour and design. At the same time, a more mainstream magazine was changing the way magazines are written with it's irreverant and witty articles, and evolving the ideas going on over at the Face and taking it mainstream. These two magazines are hailed as probably the most important magazine publications of the past 20 years and will always be remembered.

This month, the very last ever issue of Smash Hits! will be published. Goodbye old friend.

All this recent updating clearly sent someone at NTL craaaaazy cause our Internet has gone up shit creek. So I be online when I can, and update this thing when I can. This calls for one big:

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh

Awww, how lovely :) Britain now has our own answer to the ultimate celebrity: Paris Hilton. And she'll do so much a better job than that cow who was made up of the bits that Jordan had chopped off - Jodie Marsh.

I'm actually glad, cause I wouldn't have wanted any of the others to win it. And Pete Burns' facial expressions were brill. He's such a sad and pathetic loser with a capital L who had one hit song and that was in the 80's, the same decade that brought us the likes of Sam Fox (eww). You did not write or sing 'Vogue'. Get over it love, Kelly Osbourne had three hit singles and she's a loser too. Any idiot can do it

Pete is actually quite repulsive. He spent the whole thing looking like he'd been drinking vinegar, and don't get me started on those teeth. They're veneers which are cheap versions of enamels. If you're gonna be on telly atleast get the real things, bozo. If Pamela Anderson's aim was to look like Barbie, did Pete Burns set out to look like a cabbage patch kid?

This'll make ya laugh:

Britney Spears' husband is such a coooool guy.

View:



See that? It's BOGROLL! Where did it come from? Is it anything to do with Housemate 5?? Answers on a postcard.

So the other day there was a knock on the door asnd i opened it to see two strapping young americans standing there.

Guy1: Hello
Me: Hello......
Guy1: HOw are you today?
Me: Good ta.

- Silence -

Me: Can I help you?
Guy1: We're from the Church of Jesus Christ. Have you heard of us?
Me: Yes I have...
Guy1: Really?
Me: Yes
Guy1: Then you know what we're about
Me: Erm yup... and I'm proper not interested!
Guy1: But don't you have any beliefs?
Me: I have beliefs.
Guy1: Do you believe in a god?
Me: Madonna?
Guy1: Don't you bellieve it is important to understand your god's beliefs?
Me: Naaaah.
Guy1: But what about his perceptions of you?
Me: I dunno, I'm not interested.
Guy1: Really?
Me: Yes.
Guy1: But what about your beliefs?
Me: Well they're my beliefs, not anyone elses.

Me shuts the door.

Aren't those people annoying?

OK, so whilst it's not quite as good a video as "Hung Up", before Madonna's big comeback she was off galavanting with Britney in "Me Against The Music". Here is their notoriously erotic video BEFORE it was cut.



Madonna and Britney - The Real Story. Clickies!

This morning, on the road they call Humber Avenue. A sleepy little road on which I reside, there was a disturbance. Like desperate housewives, things around here were not as they seem.

So the police turn up - lots of em - and they're doing a drugs raid! AAAAH! Exciting shit.

On the same morning, the following parcels arrived on my floor looking something like this:



And inside was stuff like this:



Innocent enough. Until closer inspection...



Holy shit they're on to me. God bless my sole! Love you all, and if they catch up with me remember this - buy every Madonna single, she's a huge megastar but if people get complacent and stop buying the singles cause they think she'll get to number one anyway she'll slip to the rank of the charts reserved for people like Victoria Beckham and Son Of Dork. Just warning you.

Exclusive version of the Madonna "Hung Up" vid before airbrushing and autotuning!!!!



Queen Madge - Click here!!!!!

You know what this -----> is??? IT'S FUCKING BOGROLL! You are probably quite farmiliar with what it is and what it does and where it lives and how you use it. It's not that expensive (altho the more you pay the easier it is to walk properly), and you probably don't use that much a day.

UNLESS YOU'RE HOUSEMATE 5.

Housemate 5 lives in a house with 4 other people. Housemate 5 uses the same toilet as the 4 other people. Housemate 5 probably has bowl problems (unconfirmed). Housemate 5 does not buy bog roll. Ever.

As such, we are facing BOGROLL CRISIS 06, and are massively short of the stuff. We are not, however, massively short of the shit. You can see the problem.

Anger is building, constipation is growing, and housemates 2 through 4 have had enough. They realise that the only contribution to the problem Housemate 5 has ever made is to steal a roll of what can only be described as an arse ripping, non-absorbant, couldn't even give to a homeless bum, roll of tissue paper stolen from a chavy club.

The result is that, starting on this day, Housemates 2 through 4 and myself will be secretly passing softer than soft Andrex between eachother like it's World War II or summit. What will Housemate 5 do? Time will tell. Check back for updates and to find out if Housemate 5 has cracked (or exploded).

Hey kiddies!

You're probably all shocked and amazed to see me updating my livejournal! As am I! But here's the beef: I hate livejournal. I don't hate my friends', I just hate mine. Why would anyone wanna read about my life? I get bored writing about it.

Then it struck me, I'm a media degree student who studies journalism... I have a BTEC in journalism and I am a published journalist. Technically I should be able to write about stuff, so why am I so bad at writing a livejournal? I don't write in this thing like I write when I'm being journalistic. I'm not funny or irreverent, and I don't talk about interesting stuff. Summarising my day isn't floating my boat, but many things do, so its time for a whole new approach to this ball game.

This is gonna be better than when Gary Barlow said those immortal words "yes, the rumours are true..." (the second time, not the first time, cause i don't want anyone to shed a tear).

Expect a wave of updates like you have NEVER SEEN BEFORE! Oh and has anyone else noticed how fugly and clunky LJ actually is?

is quite accurate!